今日は、お盆休みの終焉を次第に感じ始め、少し憂鬱な気持ちでスタートしました。猛暑日が続いた連休は積極的な外出を控えていたため、何か思い出に残ることをしたくなり、衝動的にバーでカクテルを楽しむことにしました。独りカクテルのブルーハワイを飲みつつ、オリーブの油漬けをもぐもぐと食べていたら、唐突に富豪の御曹司のようなイケメンに話しかけられました。私は頭の中で「ヨッシャア！」とガッツポーズを決め、彼と会話を楽しみました。それから閉店時間まで話が盛り上がったため、二人で店を出て最寄り駅に向けて歩き始めました。その間、今私に恋人がいないことを彼に告げ、”今日は帰りたくないアピール”を醸し出すことにしました。その努力が実を結び、人通りが少なくなった瞬間、彼は私の首元に手を回し、キスを迫ってきたのです。「御曹司の彼氏ゲットだぜ！」と歓喜した矢先に大事件が起きました。
彼は私に口づけするのではなく、首筋に噛みついてきたのです。最初は変な人を捕まえてしまったと苦笑いをしていたのですが、尋常じゃない噛みつき方をされた瞬間、私の身体が急激に火照り始めました。私は慌てて手鏡で自身の様子を確認すると、八重歯が牙のように発達し、鋭い表情に変わっていました。彼にこの状況について問い詰めたところ、どうやら彼はドラキュラの末裔で、定期的に異性の血を吸わないと生命維持できない存在だということがわかりました。そのため、彼は暇を持て余していた私を見つけて近づいてきたようです。結果的に、私もドラキュラになってしまったようで、月に一度は人間の血を摂取しなければならないことが明らかになりました。正直、引っ込み思案な私が、殿方をうまく誘い出し、安定して血液を摂取できるのか不安がよぎります。特に好みの異性を選り好みすること、難易度が高まることが容易に予想されます。結果、明日からの日常がますます憂鬱な状況になりました。どうか若くて清潔な方、私に血恵んでくださいませ。
Today started out a little gloomy as I gradually began to feel the end of the Obon holiday. Since I had been actively avoiding going out during the hot and humid holiday weekend, I wanted to do something memorable, so I impulsively decided to enjoy a cocktail at a bar. As I was sipping a Blue Hawaii cocktail by myself and munching on some olives in oil, I was suddenly approached by a handsome man who looked like a wealthy sergeant. In my head I said, “Yoshaaa!” I struck a gut-punch in my head and enjoyed talking with him. We then talked until closing time, so we both left the restaurant and started walking to the nearest station. During this time, I told him that I did not have a girlfriend and tried to create an “appeal that I did not want to leave today. My efforts bore fruit, and just as we were getting to the end of the street, he put his hand around my neck and kissed me. I thought to myself, “I’ve got the sergeant’s boyfriend! Just as I was rejoicing, a big incident occurred.
Instead of kissing me on the mouth, he bit me on the neck. At first I laughed, thinking that I had caught a strange man, but the moment he gave me an unusual bite, my body began to burn rapidly. I hurriedly checked myself in the hand mirror and found that my double teeth had developed into fangs and my expression had turned sharp. When I questioned him about the situation, I learned that he was apparently a descendant of Dracula, a being who needed to suck the blood of the opposite sex on a regular basis to sustain life. Therefore, it seems that he found me in my spare time and approached me. As a result, it became clear that I too had become Dracula and had to ingest human blood once a month. Frankly, as a reclusive person, I am anxious about whether I will be able to successfully lure the gentleman and consume his blood on a steady basis. I can easily foresee an increase in difficulty, especially in selecting the opposite sex of my choice. As a result, my daily life from tomorrow is becoming more and more depressing. Please, young and clean person, please bless me with blood.
【Ad】
友人の作成した送電線をテーマにした児童書です。送電線という着眼点が面白いので大人の方にもオススメしています。よかったらどうぞ！
This is a children’s book about power lines created by a friend of mine. I recommend it to adults as well because of its interesting focus on power lines. Please take a look if you like!
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